


Rachel

by I_am_Eli



Series: Rachel Catherine Hamilton [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Coming Out, Crying, Dresses, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluffy Hamiltons, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Crossdressing Lafayette, Light Angst, Makeup, Makeup Mishaps, Self-Discovery, Supportive Hamiltons, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Philip Hamilton, deadnames, supportive parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:07:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27056158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_Eli/pseuds/I_am_Eli
Summary: Philip Hamilton was caught putting on makeup in his mother's bathroom. How will she react?
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler
Series: Rachel Catherine Hamilton [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020807
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Rachel

**Author's Note:**

> Decided to post this here before posting it on my tumblr, because I want to make sure people like it first. So tell me your opinions down in the comments!

A ten year old Philip was standing in front of his mother’s mirror, holding a tube of lipstick and smearing it on his mouth messily. Next, he uncapped the mascara and put it under his lashes, blinking over it like he had seen his mother do. The effect left little pinpricks of black on the skin of his eyelids and he ended up getting some of the mascara  _ in _ his eyes. The sting of it made tears well up, but he tilted her face up and blinked at the ceiling rapidly, not wanting to mess up his makeup. 

Next, he grabbed one of the little pencils on the counter and looked at it curiously. Was he supposed to draw on the bottom lid or the top one? Maybe both? He tried to drag the tip of the pencil over his bottom eyelid and almost immediately poked himself in the eye. Hissing in pain, the tip of the pencil dragging against his cheek as he yanked it down, he slapped one hand over her eye and whimpered pitifully. How does his momma  _ do this _ every morning? 

Deciding to give up on the makeup for now, he pulled out the last addition to his new look from under the bathroom counter. It was a dress, one of Angie’s, - a dress that she almost never wore, because Angie hated dresses with a burning passion and only ever wore them on special occasions - light yellow and ruffled. It had little yellow roses printed on it. 

He pulled off the clothes he had been wearing - shorts and a dinosaur t-shirt - and unzipped the back of the dress, stepping into it and attempting to rezip the back before giving up entirely. He looked at herself in the mirror. 

He looked…. Silly. There was too much lipstick, and it tasted icky. Some of it was even on the tip of his nose! There was a streak of dark brown eyeliner running down his cheek, and the mascara was messy and made his lashes stick together. In short, he thought he looked like a circus clown. 

The dress was too small for him. His shoulders were just a little too broad for the straps, and the flounce was far too short. He felt like crying. 

The bathroom door opened at that moment, and now he really  _ was _ crying, a single tear slipping down his cheek, because his momma was standing in the doorway, staring at him, in all his makeup smeared glory. 

Eliza merely sighed, grabbing a moist towelette from its container on a shelf, wiping the makeup off Philip’s face gently.

Philip stared at the floor, shame-faced, his ears burning and tears now sliding down his cheeks heavily. It was only when Philip’s shoulders started shaking with repressed sobs that Eliza really noticed her child was crying

“Oh, honey, what’s the matter?” Eliza cooed, tilting Philip’s face up with a finger under her chin. 

“I-I’m sorry!” he wailed. “I’m sorry, I s-shoul-shouldn’t’ve s-stole Angie’s dress or u-used your makeup, I’m so sorry, M-Momma!”

“Pip, baby, don’t cry,” Eliza said, pulling Philip into a hug. Philip sunk into the embrace, crying into her shoulder, a wet patch forming on the shoulder of Eliza’s light blue t-shirt. Eliza only pulled away from the hug when she was sure Philip had stopped crying.

“I think we need to talk about this, baby,” Eliza said. Philip nodded, not trusting himself to speak at the moment. Eliza sat Philip on the toilet seat, Eliza sitting on the edge of the bathtub that was just across from it. 

“Why’d you get into my makeup, honey?” Eliza asked gently. Philip shrugged helplessly. “You don’t know?” Philip shrugged again. After a small stretch of silence, Philip finally said, 

“I like the makeup. And the dresses. And I wanted to wear the makeup and the dresses, but I knew that you wouldn’t buy me some, so I borrowed one of Angie’s-”

“Pip, all you had to do was ask, and I would’ve gotten you a dress,” Eliza said. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of for wanting to wear girls’ clothing. Heck, your Uncle Laffy wears skirts more often than not, and we never say anything!” Philip nods. His mother had a point. 

“It isn’t just the dresses,” Philip admitted quietly, voice wavering. “I think there’s something wrong with me.”

“And what might this be?” Eliza asked. 

“I don’t… I guess I don’t  _ feel _ like a boy? I mean...” Eliza gestured for him to go on. “I don’t  _ like _ being a boy. I don’t like being called ‘son’ or being called a boy, or ‘he’, or my name- and I know that it’s not normal, people talk about how weird it is at my school all the time, but I just can’t help it-” Eliza shushed him, smiling at Philip warmly.

“It’s alright, honey, I think I understand,” Eliza said.

“You do?” Philip cautioned, voice small. Eliza nodded.

“I do,” she said, and Philip felt like crying all over again. “I want to explain all of this to you, okay?” 

“Okay.”

And so Philip learned what the word ‘transgender’ meant, and how it applied to her. She learned that she would be considered ‘mtf’, and that, no matter what her DNA said, if she was more comfortable as a girl she would be a girl, and that her Momma and Pops would do everything in their power to help her transition. 

By the time Eliza was done with her explanation, and done with answering all of Philip’s questions, it was already dark out. 

“I think it’s time for all my little monkeys to be in bed,” Eliza said, standing from her perch on the side of the bathtub. Philip was turning towards the door to go to bed herself when Eliza suddenly said, “Wait! You said you didn’t like being called your name?” Philip nodded hesitantly. “Do you want us to call you something else?” Philip thought for a moment.

“I don’t know yet. Can you just call me Pip for now, until I figure it out? Not Philip?”

“Of course, honey,” Eliza said, pressing a kiss to Pip’s curly head. “I should go help your younger siblings get ready for bed. Good night, Pip.”

“Good night, Momma,” Pip said, smiling and leaving the bathroom.

  
  


A few days later, at the store with her mother and her father - all of her many, many siblings were being watched by Uncle Laffy and Uncle Herc, God bless their souls -, Pip finally settled on a name. She didn’t know why she hadn’t considered it before.

“Hey, Pops?” she said. Her father was looking at one of the many dresses on the racks, an utterly lost expression on his face.

“Yes, Pip?” Alexander said, looking grateful to be turning away from the rack of clothing. 

“I like Rachel,” she said. 

“Eh?” Alexander said, looking even more confused.

“My name? I think I wanna go by Rachel. Rachel Catherine. After Gran and your momma.” Rachel said resolutely. Alexander smiled at his daughter wetly. 

“It’s a beautiful name,” he said. “For a beautiful little girl.” Rachel smiled, and Alexander scooped his small daughter into his arms, spinning her around, Rachel giggling madly all the while. Finally, Alexander set Rachel back on the ground, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand after doing so. 

“I love you, Rachel,” Alexander said.

“I love you too, Pops,” Rachel replied, eyes stinging slightly. Eliza finally wandered back towards them, at least ten dresses in Rachel’s size in the cart.

“What’s with all the waterworks?” Eliza asked teasingly.

“My dearest Betsey,” Alexander said seriously. “Allow me to introduce you to - Rachel Catherine Hamilton!”

And then they were all crying.

  
_ Yeah _ , Rachel thought, grinning as her parents hugged her tightly.  _ Everything’s gonna be okay. _

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment! I beg of you!


End file.
